The cryptomania has brought in a lot of craziness, not only on the well-established currencies which have seen an insane price explosion of the last year, but also on a large number of alternative coins. Regular articles on Bitcoins and cryptos in general can get a little dry, so I picked out some amusing alt-coins to lighten up your day.
As the first cryptocurrency that could be traded from British Pounds, Britcoin definitely gave itself the teacup vibe, with a clever phonetic twist. Just as much as the Queen can’t protect all British sailors from stormy waters, Britcoin isn’t safe from a bumpy ride either. In December, BRIT swung itself from $0.01 to a sensational $0.15, but just as much as colonial Britain took an end, her Majesty’s coin also saw a noticeable decline since January.
What sounds like 5th grade level humour turns out to actually have a concept. TIT, as the acronym unsurprisingly stands, is only operating in the area of pornography. The concept: owners of this cryptocurrency use it in order to hide their consumption of adult material from their partner, family or parents. It’s indeed porn peer-to-peer transactions, as a derivative of the Bitcoin source code, just with faster transaction speeds. However, these TITs weren’t safe from speculation either, and saw an erectile increase in December, which has since calmed down. Titcoin is currently traded at around $0.01. And that’s okay, it happens to a lot of coins.
This fruity coin is an Ethereum token that is probably a good analogy about how crypto-investors are going bananas. A group of Russian entrepreneurs are pegged the price of a cryptocurrency to the price of a kilo of export bananas, with the idea to expand their production facility in Laos. With that history, “ShadyCoin” would be just as good of an idea. Bananacoin is not a recommended investment by the way, after numerous users are complaining about ambiguous terms of services.
This was sort of inevitable, wasn’t it? According to its own website, “PotCoin is an ultra-secure digital cryptocurrency, network and banking solution for the $100 billion global legal marijuana industry. PotCoin is the first digital currency created to facilitate transactions within the legalized cannabis industry. PotCoin is a community based effort.” Once again, community exchanges but not necessarily something you should get too high on: POT got the munchies and floated sky-high $0.40 back in December, and has since gotten back on its feet to the $0.10 scale.
Ok there’s no way… Unless there is. Coinye, formerly known as Coinye West, was a scrypt-based cryptocurrency surfing the wave of the popular artist Kanye West. As the developers lost the lawsuit launched by the performer himself, the had to take it down. The text on the former website was replaced by: “COINYE IS DEAD. You win, Kanye.” Crypto news site Coindesk wrote back in 2014 “Thou shalt not mock Kanye”. Thou shalt not indeed.
INSANE, as the acronym stands, is a Bitcoin-based cryptocurrency started in April last year, capitalising merely on the crazy name. The jokes write themself at this point, to be quite frank. The currency however has indeed had a decent run, currently trading at $0.08. How senseless it will really end up being is yet to discover, but it is for sure that Insanecoin isn’t the most insane one out there.
Whether the Petro even belongs on here is a question in and of itself. In order to introduce the Venezuelan Petro, imagine for a second that a plumber with no education in plumbing and a proven record of ruining people’s interior were to offer you his services. That’s the Petro, just much worse.
The Venezuelan dictatorship under Nicolás Maduro announced just recently that the pre-sale for the Petro will be launched on February 20. After the socialist countries own currency, the bolivar, lost nearly all of its value, to the extent that its own citizens prefer to trade out goods and services instead, Maduro attempts to attract investments by launching an Ethereum-based token. Not for Venezuelans though. Dollars only.
This state-backed crypto, which according to the government is based on the country’s oil reserves (despite Venezuela having immense oil reserves, the country is struck by the devastating famines and economic declines that socialism brings), is likely to quickly get into the turmoil of the global cryptocurrency market. The Petro is therefore, just like socialism itself, something that shouldn’t be engaged with.